Review of Palace Diner

10 years from now, when Biddeford real estate is through the moon, I'm blaming this place. 

The thought of suggesting someone drive from Portland to Biddeford for, well, anything seems like an effort in futility. To further suggest that one make that trip for a breakfast or tuna sandwich should take you into the realm of the ridiculous.  OK, OK, it’s really too easy to shit on Biddeford but they actually have some really good things going on down there.  There’s Run of the Mill for decent beer and pub food. There’s a really good hot dog place (that might actually be in Saco) and, of course, there’s the Banded Horn Brewery and Tap Room.  They've got a hell of a nice beach and a University that sports a blue artificial turf field. There’s a river lined with mostly abandoned mills that are starting to house some really cool apartments, artist studios, coffee shops, etc.  So, really, it’s not a bad place at all but compared to my beloved Portland it is still a sort of culinary wasteland.  That was until the reopening of the Palace Diner this past year transformed a 90 year old, 15 stool (no tables) diner into a little food oasis where not only the locals can experience the kind of meal that us Portland snobs take for granted but are also willing to jump into our Prius’ and make the 25 minute journey down the turnpike to indulge in.

Finding the Palace Diner is the first trick.  It’s just off Main Street kinda behind the courthouse.  There’s plenty of parking right out front and even a little side park to hang in on a nice day if there’s a wait. Walking around the block might be a bit depressing as you pass many vacant storefronts on Main although it does make the imagination wonder about what once was and what one day may again be. Once there, you enter a building that is totally old school. It’s a 1927 diner that might have been attacked by the Blob in the original movie.  There are 15 stools attached to the floor with round, comfortable, and very spinable seats.

Pretty much everything is a throwback to a bygone era except the food.  The place would be pretty cool with basic diner food but what you get is far from basic. Of the items I've tried, the breakfast sandwich deluxe alone makes the trip from Portland worth the effort. There’s a baked egg with smoked bacon, melted cheddar and jalapenos on a sandwich sized English muffin which sounds like you should be able to make it at home - well, you can't. I’m really not that into jalapenos but on this sandwich it works so well. It truly is the best breakfast sandwich I've ever eaten and if I didn't know better I’d swear there must be some crack sprinkled in there somewhere because I am completely addicted.  The potatoes that come with it are worth the trip by themselves.  I probably would have stopped at the breakfast sandwich but I usually bring along a friend or a wife so we can split items. I almost always steer someone towards the breakfast sandwich so I can try something else, like the tuna sandwich. Yeah, it's just a tuna sandwich but they manage to do it just right with some dill and perfectly grilled bread that makes it oh-so-good. Try the corned beef hash - I'm not really a hash guy (at least I haven't been since I stopped following the Grateful Dead back in the 70's) but this is juicy and crisp at the same time and makes me think, "ah, this is what good hash is supposed to taste like".

The breakfast sandwich deluxe. Worth a 25 minute drive? You bet ya.

There's other stuff as well, like the caramelized grapefruit side order which supposedly neutralizes the lipitor I take but, what the hell, I'll double up on it tomorrow. As a friend pointed out, it does give you the very false sense that you are eating healthy, if only for a couple minutes. A great burger rounds out the very short menu (something like a dozen items) and there's almost always a special. Coffee is from Tandem in Portland. It's their blend vs. their single source that you get at the Tandem shops in Portland but I think it works better in a diner where you're going to get a refill or two. I actually like it better than their single sourced stuff, but what do I know? I have to dig pretty deep to find anything negative.  Food-wise, the best I can come up with is that the French Toast is "just" very good although you get real maple syrup to pour over it.  If you happen to sit in front of one of the heaters AND the sun is also at your back, there's the real possibility that you may spontaneously combust but even that is welcome on a very cold day. 

It's fun to watch the friendly staff negotiate the narrow space behind the counter and when your meal is ready, the cook will ring the bell even if the server is standing right in front of the service window. Go early or during the week because it can get busy on the weekends. I hear they can do 200 covers (that's customers to you non-restaurant types) on a weekend which equates to turning each seat about 13 times during breakfast and lunch. That's 13 different people sitting on each of the 15 stools on a busy day.  Yeah, it's really that good.

And really good coffee too...

OK, not The Palace, but it could be. Steve McQueen in the Downingtown Diner in the original Blob (1958).

Review of Breakfast at Becky's Dinner

Only 1 picture and it's from the outside.  Unless you want to label yourself "tourist", you really shouldn't take pictures inside.

I'm embarrassed to admit that at some point during the past few years I have become something I once disdained: one of the beautiful people, at least when it's come to going out for breakfast.  Actually, it happened when I somehow went from simply eating breakfast to making plans with friends to meet for... brunch.  Around the same time, I also gave up on eating a good, old fashioned, stick-to-your-ribs meal in favor of eggs that were poached, pancakes that were rolled with fresh fruit and real maple syrup, pork belly instead of "sausage or bacon?", frittatas instead of cheese omelettes and jalapeno cornbread vs. "...wheat, white or rye?" What the hell happened to me? Well, anyway, I've found myself working the 3rd shift lately - the 3rd shift is the one where you work all night and get off in the early morning, in my case 6:30 AM. At 6:30 AM the beautiful people are still in bed and it's too early for brunch so I recently found myself wondering where to eat at such an hour and then it came to me, why not Becky's!

It's not like I've never been to Becky's, I've been there dozens of times, just not much lately.  My kids used to love it when they were little and I enjoyed it until it became a tourist stop and I started to become something of a food snob. When I looked at the clock the other day, I thought to myself "this is the time of day to go to Becky's. This is when it will be... authentic."  Off I drove to Commercial Street and I have to report it was everything good that I hoped it would be. By "everything good" I don't necessarily mean just the food which happened to be, well, good.  I mean the whole freaking nostalgic scene which I think you can only get before 7:00 AM on a weekday.

First, there's the parking which is classic Becky's.  If you can't find a spot you just park behind someone and block them in.  You then go inside and let someone know what you did so they can have you move your car if the person you blocked gets done eating before you. You used to let the cashier know about the parking but they have apparently moved into the modern age with a point of sale system (no cashier), which they seem to hate, so you have to tell one of the servers, I mean girls, if you blocked someone in.  I say "girls" instead of "servers" because political correctness just doesn't fly at Becky's even if some of the girls are in their 40's or older. This is old school folks.

Soon after sitting at the counter I was greeted with a "coffee hun?" which was welcome and good and strong and did not have any of the characteristics of any of those foo foo coffees we're so fond of in Portland (I actually like those but I'm on a roll here...). Cream was a hand full of those little single shot deals pulled from an apron like some magician with a rabbit.  Looking left and right along the counter I noticed something odd about my fellow solo counter dinners. Unlike the "in" places where individuals and often couples are glued to their smart phones, the Becky's crowd were all sifting through newspapers. That's right, Press Heralds and Forecasters. Not a cell phone in sight. Was I in some parallel universe? This was starting to feel... right.

Time to order and there really was only one possible choice, the Hobson's Wharf Special which comes with a choice of bacon or sausage, 2 pancakes or French toast, 2 eggs (any style), home fries and toast.  I went with the sausage and pancakes.  I thought for a brief second about poached eggs but not only did it just not seem right, you kind of get the feeling that even if they would make it for you, eggs "any style" at Becky's does not include poached.  I went with over easy and rye toast and everything seemed cool.  Everything was pretty good.  The eggs were a perfect over easy.  The pancakes were nice and fluffy and crisp around the edges - I really like that in a pancake - and covered with what appeared to be an ice cream sized scoop of butter melting on top.  Two big sausage links and I was in cardiac heaven.  The home fries could have been perfect - nice and well done with a great crunch but unfortunately they were lukewarm.

So, what's the verdict?  Becky's is a little more than a breakfast joint/dinner.  It's a waterfront institution, more so in the early morning or in the winter.  The food doesn't change depending on time of day or season but there's something palpably different when the tourists are in short supply.  Watching the "girls" serving their regulars or just eavesdropping on their conversations is what makes Becky's a special place. Go late morning in the summer and it's not the same. Tourists talking on their cell phone or worse, taking pictures. For food, your basic breakfast is as good as any basic breakfast in town, better than many.  The menu contains all the essentials - eggs, bacon, pancakes, fresh fruit, etc. and not one word on the page is in French. I'm sure many respected foodies might now question my foodie bona fides but I'm gonna just throw it out there: it's 6:30AM and I'm hungry, I'm going to Becky's.

..because it will last the rest of my life

I don't think I can pinpoint the exact moment when I started thinking I was becoming old enough to die but I did consciously come to that realization recently when shopping for a lightweight rain jacket.  Normally I would be motivated by a combination of function, style, and price but sometime during the past couple of years I started buying mostly better quality items, not because I'm big into quality but because I've started purchasing items with the thought that "...if I buy a good quality rain jacket, it should last me the rest of my life".  Even though my wife TA was mortified when I first verbalized my shopping thought process, I was not stating it to be in any way morbid and certainly not as something I was looking forward to. I'm just a realist. We all reach a point in our lives where the amount of time we have before us is less then the amount of time we have behind us and that's just the way it is.

With this in mind, I've simply adjusted my buying habits to fit my place in life.  As I wear a pair of black dress shoes maybe three times a year and I figure I can get a solid 100 wearings from a quality pair, by my math a really nice shoe should take me well into my 80's.  After that, if I'm still around, fuck it, I'm wearing sneakers to every event.  If I were to buy a middle-of-the-road pair, it might last me only until my mid 70's and then I'd be facing a dilemma: am I old enough to get away with being the crazy old guy who wears sneakers everywhere?  Or do I have to go out and buy another pair that will take me way past the age where I should really give a shit?

It's not all about spending big bucks on quality items because they're going to last the rest of my life.  There's also the money saving side of this thought process of mine - there's no way in hell that I'm spending $40 on a super nice hammer or $30,000 on a metal roof that will last 50 years.  See, it's not about just buying quality items that will last the 35 years that the actuary tables say I have left.  It's also about making smart purchases to free up cash for other, more frivolous, things.  I'm not building anything any more so a $15 hammer is fine for the few nails I have left to bang in my life (somehow that sounds dirty) and I can therefore parlay these savings into something that I would have once considered wasteful, like a tasting menu at a fine restaurant.

So there you have it, purchasing things that will last the rest of your life.  It's not all macabre and sad, at least not yet.  I'm still thinking in terms of 30ish years.  It's not like all I'm buying is the shittyest stuff I can find because I think I'll only use them once and then drop dead (that's when it really WILL become sad).  See TA? Lighten up, I'm not planning on going anywhere anytime soon.  I'm still thinking about many years of us enjoying the good things in life together, it's just that a $40 hammer is not one of those things but... a $300 tasting menu with wine pairing is. How does next Saturday night sound?

Why Can't Restaurants Get the Bathroom Right?

Why can’t restaurants get the restroom right? This really bugs me. I've been in some very fine restaurants that do so many things right... right up until someone has to use the restroom.
Although no restaurant restroom has risen to the level where I wanted to go there because of the restroom (“Hey guys, let’s go to Joe’s. The food is iffy but the bathroom is to die for!”), there have been times where it definitely added or subtracted from the overall experience. I will try to highlight what I consider some common mistakes as well as what makes for the best restroom experiences. I’m most familiar with the mens room and, except for those unisex restrooms (more on that later), the women’s room is a mystery for me and I want it to stay that way. I have a vision of a comfortable place where women go to “freshen up” and don’t do any of the things usually associated with a bathroom. I’ve been told that is not the case, that it's just like the mens room, but I’m going to keep believing it is different and there’s no telling me otherwise. With that being said, on to the restrooms.

First, the ideal restaurant restroom. Being a germaphobe, the ultimate restroom experience will be a “hands free” experience. In a perfect world, you would not have to touch anything when using the public restroom. This not only includes the obvious (toilet seat, handle and various knobs) but even the less obvious, like the door. To me, touching anything in the restroom should be avoided at all cost. To be honest, I’m not even too keen on touching myself, so touching something that someone else has touched after they might have touched themselves sort of freaks me out a bit. Unfortunately, to have the whole hands free experience you need a really big place. This is to accommodate the entrance to the restroom. To go without a door, one must have some sort of maze-like entrance that uses a lot of space. I acknowledge that only the very largest restaurants (or airports or shopping malls) have the necessary space for this setup. Once inside however, the technology is readily available where any profitable place should be able to go hands free. There are sensors that can flush toilets, dispense soap, turn on water and dry hands or dispense paper towels so you can not only dry your hands, but can then use the paper to open the door (if you must have a door) on your way out without having to touch it with your bare hand which otherwise just made moot every other hygienic precaution you have just taken.

I actually skipped an important step on the way to the restroom. Before you get into the restroom, you must first find it. Most places have their restrooms “in the back” somewhere. Easy enough you would think, but here’s a bit of a dilemma. The restroom should be easy to find yet be out of sight of diners. If you are sitting at a table anywhere in the restaurant, you should not be able to see inside the restroom. The ultimate sin? To somehow make eye contact with an actual toilet while dining. That can be a game changer. So, where should you place the restroom? Down an obvious hallway is good place to start. Some classic mistakes? I should not be able to chat with the dishwasher through an open door to the kitchen while waiting for the restroom. Food should be nowhere in sight and certainly not within reach of a bathroom even if it’s in a can. I know it’s kind of trendy to stock bales of semolina flour and cans of imported Roma tomatoes in places where customers can walk past and think to themselves “I like that they use top quality ingredients...” but please, not near a restroom. I’ve actually seen cans stacked in the restroom. My only hope is that it was meant as some kind of Warhol-like piece of art and never made it onto a plate.

OK, you've found the restroom, or at least think you've found the restroom when you come across the most egregious error in the world of restaurant bathrooms - signage. This seemingly most simple of things has done more to confuse me more than anything else associated with a restaurant restroom. Why do so many restaurant owners insist on making a trip to the restroom a game of pictionary? Is it really that difficult to stencil a “men” or a “women” on a door? Maybe include one of those international figures of a man or a woman. Listen folks, I’m just trying to use the bathroom. Now is not the time to get cute. I should not have to try to figure out if the wood carving is Sir Lancelot or maybe Lady Macbeth. Do I use the restroom with the picture of the mermaid or the one with the sperm whale? I’m not even sure what gender Medusa was.  I was just in a restaurant that had a fork on one door and a spoon on the other.  I flipped a coin and went with fork.  I know it's a French or Greek restaurant but I can assure you, if we're actually eating on U.S. soil, most of your customers do not speak French or Greek. Thankfully, Chinese and Thai restaurants recognize this and almost always go with English. Although women tell me that it wouldn't be the end of the world if I were to accidentally walk into "their" room, it would be for me. Bottom line, please put an easy to read sign on the door. Thank you.

OK, so the place isn't big enough to go door-less but you managed to put the restrooms down the hall or behind some sort of screen. So far so good. Everything inside is up to par (hopefully hands free) except for... the trash bin. Really, how difficult should this be? First, could you please place the bin near the door so that I can open it with the paper towel (not touch the door) and then throw it in the trash without having to make an NBA 3-pointer? I rarely make that shot which segues into my next pet peeve: how often do you find the restroom trash overflowing with paper towels? I will now pause while you think of the two possible solutions for this problem... (I’ll be right back. Cue the Jeopardy theme music in your head...)

I’m back so let’s see if you came up with the same answers as me. First option: get a BIGGER trash can. Pretty simple, don’t you think? Second option: EMPTY the freak’n trash when it gets full! You can slice and dice and chop and saute and grill and poach but you are unable to get a grasp on the trash container in the restroom. Inexcusable.

Next on the list of common restaurant restroom miscues? The lock on the door. So we’re in a “cute” (e.g. small) bistro that has wonderful food but only has room for two small, one person, restrooms. I understand we might not be able to put in all the latest hands-free gizmo's that I really like to see but, come on guys, how about a decent lock on the door? Once again, I’m a little weird about this stuff as I’m the type of person who locks the bathroom door when I’m alone in my own house. One of the worst things I can possibly imagine happening to me is for the restroom door to be flung open in a crowded restaurant exposing me to dozens of diners who, I can assure you, have now lost their appetite for even the finest of fine food. Am I the only person who has nervously used a restroom while propping a foot or hand against the door? I’m sorry but the little button on the door knob doesn’t cut it. Neither does the small hook that I have to get into the even smaller eye that was screwed into the door post and might just be strong enough to keep a light breeze from swinging the door open. For me the ideal lock is something you would find on a medieval castle. You know the one I’m talking about - the kind that requires 30 or 40 strong guys using a 100 year-old pine tree battering ram to break open. Being that such a lock might be extreme, I’ll settle on a compromise - a good solid lock, or better yet, two. Maybe the lock can incorporate some of that new airplane or Grayhound bus technology which shows whether or not the restroom is “occupied”?

Lighting. Once again, this should be a pretty easy one. First, more than one light bulb please. This way, if one were to go out, I can still see. Next, how about enough wattage so I can really see what's going on in there. It's the bathroom for goodness sake. I’m really not looking for any kind of ambiance. Then there’s the light switch. Now, I’m a green kinda guy, really I am. I recycle and turn off lights when I leave a room but there is very little that creeps me out more than to have to feel along a wall in a dark public restroom for a light switch. Please have a light that stays on all the time - I know it might waste some energy but it's really so little compared to the peace of mind it gives me in return. If you want to be really cool, go with the motion sensor lighting ($14.95 at Home Depot). Anything. Just don't make me have to run my hand along the wall.

Finally, the unisex restroom. The ONLY time this is acceptable is when there is only one restroom in the building. If there are two, make one the men’s room and the other the women’s room. What’s the big deal you ask? This is the big deal: I walk into the unisex restroom and find the toilet seat has been left in the upright position. My first thought is “this is good, one less thing I have to touch” but then I realize that there might be a woman waiting outside the door. What is she going to think of me when she finds the seat left up? My women friends tell me not to sweat it as they never actually sit on the seat in any public restroom regardless of how clean the place is but I don’t believe them and have been programed for 50 years to “always put the seat down as there may be a lady using it after you”. What started out as a positive (me not having to touch the seat) has now, due to the unisex nature of the restroom, become “well, I have to lower the seat” and... you know what happens next, don’t you? The seat is, let’s say... not clean. As there might be a woman waiting outside the door, I am now in the position of having to CLEAN the seat because “what would she think of me if I didn’t” even though I had nothing to do with the lack of cleanliness and it would be very awkward to engage in such a conversation trying to explain this fact. I have now gone from enjoying a (sometimes very expensive) dinner with my wife to cleaning toilets because the restaurant has decided that “...we should be avant-garde and go with two unisex restrooms because I saw that in Europe last summer.” The real irony is that I don’t even clean the toilets at home as we hire someone to do that so the only place where I find myself cleaning a toilet these days is usually in an expensive restaurant. How weird is that?. I’m all about equality but please, please, please, separate restrooms.

There you have it. A few rules to follow to make the restroom experience as pleasant as possible. Does anyone else feel this way or am I nuts?

Where to Eat Right Now (before the tourists arrive)

I’m not a “reservations guy”.  Making a reservation puts too much pressure on me.  This is especially true when I’m going to a high demand place.  First, I make a reservation (usually on-line) which generates an email to me confirming what was already confirmed when the restaurant accepted my reservation in the first place.  Along with this email are instructions on what to do if I have any special requests or might need to cancel my reservation even though I’m pretty sure I could have figured those things out on my own.  Next comes the day before dinner phone call confirming that I’m really going to eat there often accompanied by yet another email reminding me how much the restaurant is looking forward to serving me.  At this point I wouldn't dare miss dinner or show up even a minute late, hence the stress unintentionally placed on me by the restaurant.

You might be wondering what any of this has to do with the subject of this blog.  Well, as I made a recent reservation at Fore Street about a week and a half in advance, I noticed that even that far out there were times that were not available and it got me thinking about where I should eat now because once the snow melts and the hordes from away arrive in town it’s just going to be a pain to get into many places.  So the title of this really should be something like, “where should I eat now because I don’t stand a chance in hell of eating there during prime time once the tourists pull into town”.

These are places you can reasonably get into now.  You may even be able to just stroll in minus a reservation at almost any time (a bit tougher on weekends) so, unless it’s a special dinner with out of town guests, go now and leave the summer insanity to the folks from away.

Fore Street: Fore Street is tough to get into anytime of the year and they do leave tables open for walk-ins (if you want to queue up starting at 5:00 PM) but once summer rolls in it’s as tough a seat to get as anywhere in the state.

Hugo’s: You can actually show up during the week this time of year and have a good chance of bellying up to the bar and having one of the most exciting meals around.  Yeah, it’s pricey but you only live once.

Eventide: If by some chance you still can’t get into Hugo’s or you want something more casual, then go next door to their sister restaurant, Eventide.  Last year it was still relatively new but it’s now on everyone’s radar.

Duckfat: Another tough seat even this time of year, especially during prime time, it becomes insane in the summer as the line starts around 11:45 AM.  Eat there now and then, come June, walk past the line of tourists and have a really good meal next door at the East Ender (secret, East Ender is worthy in its own right, not just as an overflow for Duckfat).

Central Provisions: Rarely has a new restaurant opened in this town with such (well deserved) fanfare and one of the smoothest openings in recent years.  The food is varied and phenomenal with one of the best young chefs (Chris Gould) around. The bar program is excellent. This will be one of the toughest tickets in town this summer. Go now.

Street and Company: Sister restaurant of Fore Street it just continues to deliver year after year.  As one of the few high end pure seafood plays in town it has become a magnet for those summer visitors who want to spend their tourist dollars on the freshest fish in our little coastal town.

Piccolo: The smallest of the “eat here” now restaurants, chef Sansonetti‘s dishes are so subtle and nuanced that they creep up on you leaving you starring at an empty plate wishing for the food to reappear. I’m not a big dessert guy but this is a place where I save room. Where husbands’ food is subtle, wife and pastry chef Ilma Lopez’ desserts provide a “wow” factor. Best husband/wife team in town.

Boda: Another tough seat at almost any time of year, it only gets worse in the summer with the line extending out onto Congress Street (no reservations) so go now and go often.

Pai Men Miyake: Yet another tough place for a seat in Longfellow Square, it can get busy any time of day with a busy late night crowd. Whereas the heat of the kitchen made eating near the bar almost unbearable last summer (yes, there was a time when it was hot in town), word is that they are sinking some money into upgrading the air conditioning.  If so, there will be some serious waiting for a table this summer.

Local 188: Always tough to get a table for Sunday brunch, Local (as the locals call it) becomes very busy at all hours as the weather warms up.

Hot Suppa: No longer just a neighborhood place, the lines for weekend breakfast are long (and really chill – as are most of the patrons). They have the best scrambled eggs around.  During nice weather the sheer number of people waiting outside is usually enough to turn a planned breakfast into a drive-by.

Bintliff’s: Since we’re on breakfast I have to mention Bintliff’s.  They were doing a great brunch long before it became fashionable for the beautiful people to go out for brunch.  The lines on Sunday’s this time of year will only get longer as the weather warms up.

Fisherman’s Grill: For those who don’t venture off the peninsula but might be interested in an adventure into the grittier side of Portland, now is the time to hit the Fisherman’s Grill.  The best (yeah, the best) fried clams around and by far, hands down, slam dunk, the best $1.50 burger anywhere.  That’s right – a buck fifty but it’s only for the locals. Mike 86’s it come summer when people will wait an hour or more for a great lobster roll and those clams.

How about something to drink? I really like Hunt and Alpine for a cocktail during happy hour with a light bite to eat.  It can get quite trendy and crowded later in the evening and it should only get worse in the summer. Talking about trendy, the all new Top of the East in the Westin Hotel brings big city trendiness to our little town. Although I think the lines at the elevators have been artificially created, they will be for real come summer as everyone scampers upstairs for the best view in town.  LFK, although the antithesis of “trendy” it can get mobbed in the summer with people looking for a real good beer. And then there’s Nuvare Res which any beer drinker will tell you is the place to go if you are at all serious about your beer.  Especially for the intimidated, this is the time of year to talk with the staff about the beer and get a nice education. It gets pretty busy in the summer and you don’t get as much personal attention.

There you have it.  My list of places to go to now before it gets too busy.  There are many really good (and many that are better than several of those on my little list - 555, Back Bay Grill, etc.) restaurants that I didn't include because I find that I can usually get into them any time of year.  Yup, these are the places where you're most likely to find me during the next couple of months.  Actually, many of these are places I've been to over the past few months that I had a difficult time getting into last summer.  And while the tourists are filling up these restaurants, I'll be hitting the slew of new ones that will soon be opening.  Yeah, life IS good in our little town.

Review of Sunday Brunch at One Longfellow Square

Maybe it's my age.  Maybe it's my love of music and food.  Whatever it is, one thing is sure - I've always been a sucker for a jazz brunch. There's something special about a relaxing Sunday brunch with live music playing that just turns a ho-hum meal into something more, an event.  Which brings TA and me over to One Longfellow Square on the 3rd Sunday of the month for their jazz brunch.

First, there's brunch. One Longfellow Square (OLS) is not a food venue, it's a music venue. There is an $8.00 cover charge (free for OLS members). There are no chefs slicing and dicing and no servers refilling your coffee. You can get a shot of booze in your coffee or a bloody Mary although I didn't see anyone drinking one but this is really about a spread on a couple of tables and some really good music. The cost for brunch is $5.00 for one big plate or $8.00 for unlimited trips to "the table". Although no one is cooking your food to order, there are quite a few options that are well worth your five bucks for the single plate which happens to be a really big plate. There are cakes and pastries. Quiche, which for some unknown reason I didn't try. A surprisingly very fresh fruit salad for Maine in January. Then there were bagels from Scratch over in South Portland with containers of cream cheese which I believe were imported from Philadelphia. Good coffee - the folks I asked didn't know where it was from but it tasted good and familiar so I believe it was local but I could easily be wrong.  Add some tea and juice choices and I think you could do much worse at a much higher price point elsewhere around town.

Quiche, coffee and tea are out of the picture but for $5, hard to beat.

The music. Disclaimer: I am as equally unqualified to review music as I am to review food. That being said, for brunch, they move the stage to the right (from the viewpoint of the audience) and set up cafe-like tables around the room with the food spread in the back.  Where this differs from most jazz brunch's is in the make-up of the band and the selections they play.  Your stereotypical jazz brunch selections usually consist of bland background music as you are normally there for the food with the music to lend a sort of coolness to the meal.  At OLS, the band that John Clark has put together goes way beyond your typical jazz brunch trio playing out of a "fake" book (this should get me some street cred from the musicians out there). Besides Clark on Bass, last Sunday's band consisted of Frank Mauceri on sax, Carl Dimow on flute, Glenway Fripp on piano, and Peter McLaughlin on drums.  These guys are legit musicians and are a real treat to listen to. The music consisted of mostly upbeat numbers from the likes of Mingus and Monk as well as several I had never heard of. Throw a few nice originals, mostly by Fripp, into the mix and you get a really good jazz fix. It's very lively and does not lend itself to chatting during the sets. They may make adjustments to their program in coming months and it's pretty informal so, for better or worse, you may be surprised by the show.  The crowd was made up of mostly my demographic (age - 50's but very attractive) with some younger people sprinkled about. As those people would say, it was a chill group with one table sifting through the NY Times and at least one woman reading a book.

Dare you to find a cooler place to hang for a couple of hours on a cold winter Sunday.

There you have it. For $26 two of us each had a Scratch Bakery bagel, some pastries, coffee, juice and a nice fruit salad (we missed the quiche which looked good). We also listened to a bit over two hours worth of good jazz played by excellent musicians. If you're planning on a quiet brunch with some "background" music, this is not for you. If you're really into some excellent jazz with a more than adequate buffet to go along with it or just want a change of pace from the other brunch's in town, on the 3rd Sunday of the month, this can be something worth trying out. No one is looking to turn tables so you can hang as long as you like. You'll be the cooler for it.